2 - Kevin Trudeau and "Natural Cures"

Have any of you ever heard of this author named Kevin Trudeau? He wrote this book called "natural cures they don't want you to know about" and I guess it was a pretty big hit. Oprah Winfrey had him as a guest on her show and gave out information on his book. He also has this website with a lot of remedies for little things like headaches to huge things like arthritis and skin diseases; and for 500 bucks you can have an all access pass to the website and his secrets. Go figure... And the book? No actual remedies in it either, as misleading as the inside cover may be. Basically it's a 300 page sales pitch to get you onto his website and pay the 500 bucks. If you can't tell, I have a horrible distaste for the guy. I can't stand him. But, of course, there are people who love and praise him like a God.

One of those people, is my mother. I love her to pieces, but she is completely obsessed with this book. I have never in my life been on more manhunts for the strangest spices and foods than I have for her from this website. As I said, she has Lupus, and this guy thinks hes got it aaalllll figured out, that he can cure it. Even though there are hundreds of doctors who still cannot figure it out. Well, regardless, she does whatever the man says.

What I'm getting at here, is my food allergy. I am highly allergic to citric acid; meaning I cannot eat any fruits, juices, yogurts, or anything that may contain fruits like desserts, waffles, pancakes, muffins, pies, candy. Nada. The worst of it is that I've only been like this since I was 14, maybe 15. So I know what I'm missing out on. I used to love chocolate covered strawberries and caramel apples. Blueberry waffles and strawberry cheesecake. I was really good about staying away from all this stuff up until around last year. I learned the wonderful benefits of Benadryl, and how helpful it is if you take twice the dosage. My typical allergic reaction of my throat closing up, horrible stomach aches, hives and boils everywhere and sometimes severe asthma attacks were reduced to just hives and a stomach ache, occasionally a hard time breathing or itchy throat, depending on what I ate. While those side effects still seem dangerous, it was nothing compared to what they used to be, and finally eating a very small amount of fruit again was wonderful. I can't tell you how much you'd appreciate a slice of apple with some peanut butter on it until you can't have it anymore.

So I call my Mom up one day and tell her I made the stupid mistake of eating a whole apple. Which by the way, apples are #2 highest in citric acid (one down from tomatoes) against the popular opinion that lemon or lime would be highest. And to top it off, I rubbed my eyes because they were itchy with the hand I used to cut the apple with. I couldn't see a bloody thing. So I get the usual "what is wrong with you?" and "do you want to end up in the hospital?" and then I hear her start her usual "I'm sure Kevin Trudeau has a remedy for this... Let me call you back." Woman thinks this guy is heaven sent. More like a witch doctor, if you ask me.
She calls me back an hour later to tell me she went to the website, and Mr. Trudeau here says that if you want to get rid of a food allergy, all you have to do is have small doses of it on a daily basis, and over a period of time slowly ramp up the amount you take in. Riiigghhhtt, I tell her. Because I want to be covered in hives with swollen eyes and a stomach ache everyday for god knows how long...

Well, let me tell you. 2 weeks now I've been covered in hives. I can't stop sneezing, I have a sore throat and the worst cough. I sound like a 60 year old lady with emphysema... I, for some reason, took my mother's advice. I've been drinking Coca Cola everyday now (caffeine free calorie free sugar free crap. I never used to drink soda because of what it does to your teeth) for the simple fact that I can put lime in it. To torture myself. I've been having a slice of apple or a slice of orange with my breakfast or lunch. And occasionally at dinner I'll have a couple bites of my friend's dessert, provided she ordered something fruity.

This. Has been. the worst. Two week. Of my life... I can't explain it to you. It feels like I'm dying from the inside out. I'm expecting my hair to fall out soon and my skin to slowly peel off. Granted, I'm obviously exaggerating because if it was that bad I would just stop. But in all honesty it is annoying enough to be up all night coughing, or every 3 minutes have to explain to a stranger standing near you that "Oh no, I'm not sick. No worries of it, you won't catch anything. It's just an allergic reaction."

Ugh. Someone please tell me there is a better way around this...